Bill returned safely home on Friday. We are so glad to have him with us. He was gone for two weeks and we were worried he would have to stay in England longer due to the volcanic ash from Iceland. I'm very grateful to have Cindy Carver living with us. She has been a blessing to me. She does all the dishes and laundry before I can get to it. Plus, she's very patient with the children and they have lots of fun with her. I have to admit I get jealous sometimes because she is doing all the things I should be doing but can't. She has a possible job opportunity caring for an elderly lady and, although I would like to have my family and home to myself, she will be greatly missed.
Our back yard has been improved with raised planters and brick work. It's amazing how much bigger it seems. A lot of the renovation was done while Bill was away. Cindy and Mize, my elderly neighbor, are good workers and worked for two days shoveling dirt into planters. Mize is retired and when he saw us shoveling, asked if he could help. I'm very blessed with good neighbors on either side.

I am going to start working on getting my Young Women medallion...finally. It wasn't important to me when I was young, although I probably earned it. I just didn't bother to keep track. My goal is to read the Book of Mormon, of course, but also to focus on aquiring new skills that I can use as a mother. I have a feeling I will need to sew better since my girls will be tall and will probably have a difficult time finding modest clothes.

My brain is not functioniong well. By this I mean that I am more forgetful than usual. I went grocery shopping on Saturday and must have left my wallet in the shopping cart because I have not been able to find it anywhere. All of my credit cards, debit cards and checkbook were in it as well as my drivers license, hospital volunteer ID, new library card (the other one is lost) and health insurance card. I'm so mad at myself. I have such a sweet husband, though, who just squeezed my hand and pointed out that we don't have any money anyway because of hospital bills and backyard remodeling. So whoever took my wallet is going to be disappointed!

This was a discouraging week for me because my endocrinologist told me that I have two suspicious looking lymph nodes in my neck that might possibly be cancer and that I have another nodule in my lung that could possibly be valley fever or cancer. I just keeping putting my trust in Heavenly Father. I know He has a plan for me. I just hope it involves me seeing my children grow up.

Cambridge

As this is my first post, hopefully it will be a good one. As I do not yet count myself among those stranded in england due to the volcano eruption in Iceland, seeing the trend, how every day they expand the flying ban for another day, I expect to soon be caught in turmoil.

Well, I've spent enough time in Cambridge, UK, for it to start feeling familiar, so I decided to spend my day wandering around. I've collected a few pictures to post here, so those who read this who have not had the chance to visit Cambridge may live vicariously...

First of all, what do you need to know? Cambridge is in England. If you don't know where England is, it's the island that has a huge volcanic dust cloud hovering above it. OK, moving on...

Cambridge is North-North-East of London, about 50 minutes by train, 1h 30m by car. It is the home of the famous and highly-esteemed Cambridge University. Like Hogwarts in the Harry Potter series, it consists of many mostly-independent colleges that have grouped together under the banner of "Cambridge University". A student is not accepted to Cambridge University, rather, they are accepted to one of the colleges (King's college, Queen's College, etc). The main differences between these colleges are their emphasis, and how majestic their buildings are.

Cambridge is also very old. It was founded in 1209, a good 500 years before the U.S. They have lots and lots and lots of history. It is named after the river that runs through it, the Cam, and the first bridge built over the river (which I'll conveniently call The Bridge). Put them together, and Viola! Cam-Bridge. makes sense now, doesn't it?

One of the favorite pass-times here is Punting on the Cam. That's right. I said Punting. on. the. Cam. As you can see below, punting involves a boat, a long pole, and usually a lot of people running into other boats and getting their pole stuck in the mud.

Another interesting attraction is the large golden clock, seemingly ruled over by an oversized metallic grasshopper that seems to be right out of my bug nightmares. Not that I have bug nightmares, but if I did, I'm sure he would be the king of bugtown.

If you were to stand in this spot, looking at the clock, then turn around, you would see King's College Chapel (see the first picture in my post). This is not the oldest college in Cambridge, but it certainly is the largest.

Just around the corner is one of many pubs that serve beer, stout, draughts, and more beer. oh, and Fish N Chips and Bangers N Mash. And I've eaten both. Not at the same time, that would be crazy.

This is called The Eagle. It claims to have been around since the 1200's as well. It was a favorite hang-out of both English and American pilots during the world wars. There is a room inside where the ceiling has been 'graffittied' with squadron numbers and other messages that these pilots left for us.

Well, not much more to say right now. I'll just leave with another picture. I took it while walking, so now you know why.

Unexpected Blessings

At the end of last year (2009), a week before Thanksgiving to be exact, I was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer. I am only 36 and felt fine so this came as a big shock to me. My first thought was that I hoped I would live to see my daughters grow up. The doctors all said that if they had to choose a cancer, this would be the one. It's slow growing and responds well to treatment. My thyroid had to be removed so I met with Dr. Balserak to schedule the surgery. He assured me that I would live long enough to see my grandchildren. He's probably THE Dr. to go to for this particular surgery. I had the thyroidectomy in mid December and recovered over the Christmas holiday. The Pantano ward and my family all fasted for me. The surgery went fine, however, the Doc discovered that the cancer was further along than he thought. The cancer had spread to at least 8 lymph nodes, which he also removed with my thyroid. It was now definite that I would need radioactive iodine treatment.

In preparing for the radiation treatment, I had to go on a special low-iodine, low sodium diet. I also could not take any thyroid replacement hormones. I became very hypothyroid and was extremely fatigued and depressed. My body felt sluggish and sore and I had what is known as "brain fog" where you just can't think clearly. Bill's company decided to send him to England and Wales for two weeks during this time. The Pantano Ward Relief Society came to the rescue. For those two weeks while Bill was gone, meals were brought in. Sister Walker and Sister Hannah helped me prepare special meals to freeze for when I became too tired to cook. Sister Black and Becky Thies came and helped Savanna with her homework. They cleaned my house and helped fold laundry. Sister Chapman brought me special homemade bread that conformed to my diet. The Primary President, Megan Lotti, came a couple times to put the girls to bed. She read stories to them and sang to them. I was very humbled and grateful for this service since I have not been able to sing to them since the surgery. I also had friends and a neighbor watch my girls so I could nap during the day. Instead of feeling depressed because I had cancer, I felt loved by Heavenly Father and blessed because of all the love and service that was given to me. Christi drove from Yuma to Tucson to pick me up and take me to Grandma Johnson's funeral in Phoenix because I was feeling to tired to drive myself, then mother drove me back to Tucson, dropped me off, and drove back home to Mesa. I'm sure it was a long trip for both of them, and I really appreciate this service.

When it came time for the radiation therapy, I was very nervous about being around my family and harming them. I had been told by my endocrinologist, Dr. Barsony, that hospitals no longer let people stay after being given radiation and that I should just get a hotel room. That didn't sound ethical because I would still be exposing people to radiation. Unexpectedly, and without my asking them, the Nuclear Medicine department decided that I should stay in the hopital while I recovered from the radiation. The nurses were even surprised and told me this was very rare that a person was allowed to stay. Once again, Heavenly Father was looking out for me. I had no ill effects from the radiation therapy (it was just one pill), and stayed in the hospital for three days. The nurses were not supposed to stay in my room for more than ten minutes at a time and there was a line that they had to stand behind to limit their exposure to the radiation in me. I read lots of books and watched movies on my portable DVD player. It was sort of like a mini vacation. When I went home on Sunday, Bill had to get the girls out of the house and take them to his parents. The hospital had recommended that our daughters not be around me for three more days. We had planned for our daughters to spend the night at Aunt Carrie and Uncle Dee's house, however, Brooke was sent home from school the next day with a fever. Bill was also supposed to travel to Washington D.C. that same day but his flight was cancelled due to the snow storm they had there. Once again, a small miracle, because I didn't know how I was supposed to take care of Brooke and not expose her to radiation. Bill ended up taking three days off of work to take care of Brooke and I.

Currently, I'm feeling OK. I wonder if I will ever regain my singing voice. I still have to take naps in the afternoon, but I have a wonderful friend, Cindy Carver, who is living with us and helps babysit kids and clean house for me. We are also helping her out too as she was homeless before I met her. We met at church and she is my visiting teaching companion. I was impressed by her because she told me that just because she was homeless didn't mean she couldn't visit teach. As I got to know her better, I felt prompted to invite her to stay with us until she could get on her own feet. Think of the movie "Pursuit of Happiness". This has been an adventure but I am confident that Heavenly Father will continue to bless us.

Grandama Johnson passes away- the end of an era

It's the beginning of the year 2010, and already there has been much to write about. My grandmother, Eva Johnson, passed away on January 25, 2010. She was such an amazing woman. She died at the mature age of 91, having lived a full and rewarding life. I told my mother to give Grandma a message for me as I was unable to be there before she died. I told her that all my life I have been watching her and she has always been a great example to me. Although, she is laying in a hospital bed after having a stroke and feels very tired and worn out, I see her as being triumphant. She has finished her assignment here in the mortal world and it's time to return to her heavenly home. On the day she died, along with some tears, I envisioned her being reunited with Grandpa and looking young and beautiful. They were sweethearts for so long in this life, I imagine it was hard to be apart for so long. The best part is the lasting legacy that she (and Grandpa)left behind. 6 children, 37 grandchildren, 109 great grandchildren, and 1 great-great grandchild.

Gone From My Sight
by Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until; at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone." Gone where? Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me-not in her. And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone," there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"